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Do you order the cheapest thing on the menu?

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I’m guilty.

Yes to me

Guilty of ordering the cheapest thing on the menu.

In fact, I’ve NOT ordered things on the menu that I’d rather have because of price. I’m talking about a five dollar difference. Will that $5 make or break me? Nope, and yet, I still found myself ordering the cheapest items on the menu.

It rarely mattered whether I was paying, or whether someone else was paying. This way of looking at the menu had become a habit. And it’s a habit of being cheap with ME that spilled over to other areas of life as well.

Now, this isn’t the same thing as scoring a fabulous deal on something I love. Because no matter how much money I have in my bank account, I will always love the feeling of getting exactly what I want for a great price. 

But this ‘ordering cheap’ habit is a sign of something else, something deeper, something about what I thought I was worth. I know I’m not alone here. As women, we have a hard time doing nice things for ourselves on a regular basis. I’ll bet you ten bucks that you would spend money right now on a gift for your bestie, your kiddo or your honey without even blinking. But when it comes to spending that extra bit on YOU, you’re waiting for some external permission or special occasion to splurge.

Before you begin to roll out all of the excuses, I invite you to take a deep breath. Come on, join me … take a deep breath right now and really feel into that exact moment of deciding whether or not to buy that slightly nicer item for yourself, buying that more expensive thing on the menu that you really want, or investing in yourself or your business because it’s the next step for you. Did you hesitate? Why?

Here’s what I know to be true for me. The women that I have been blessed to work with and to know in my lifetime are the most generous, beautiful souls that I am honored to walk with on this beautiful life path. And they all have something in common, they do for others first. Yes, this is a generous and giving quality. But when that same sense of giving is not also flowing to yourself, there is a level of sacrifice of self that begins to eat away at your spirit.

Now, because you have found your way to  blog and are drawn on some level to the topic of self-care, I know that somewhere deep inside of you, you’re feeling the stirring of the importance of giving yourself the time, the space and the gifts that you so freely give to others. For so many of us, we look at taking time for ourselves as something that we’ll do later when we have time. And so we continue to put ourselves off for another day.

So what does this have to do with ordering the cheapest thing on the menu? When you truly deeply and unwaveringly feel the power of self-worth and self-love flowing towards yourself, you won’t have that internal negotiation about ordering what you really want. You won’t put yourself last on the list.

When you know your own beautiful self-worth, you will ask for what you want and what you need. You’ll say yes when you want to. And you’ll say no when you mean it. You’ll do it with kindness and integrity because that’s how you roll. But you’ll say what needs to be said. That’s the power of knowing you’re worth it.

When you treat yourself as well as you do your bestie, you will glow with the radiance of self-love and knowing that the time you give to yourself to re-charge and re-fill will be a gift to everyone around you.

Why self-care? Here are some of the words my clients use after implementing self-care strategies:

I have more energy

I feel rejuvenated

I’m inspired

I’m actually more patient with my kids and spouse

I love my time alone, it totally inspires new ideas in my business

I am painting again!

My sex-life is better…I didn’t expect that!

I KNOW I’m worth it…and am investing in ME and my business. And it feels JUICY!

I know I can enjoy daily luxuries because I’m WORTH it.

My days feel effortless.

Yup, these are the side-effects of self-care and self-worth.

So the next time you’re ordering from the menu, looking at your weekly calendar – I challenge you to get what you REALLY want, and to make an appointment with YOU to do nothing or exactly what you’ve been wanting to do, not a smaller version of it. In your heart simply say, “Because I’m worth it” as an answer to that voice of doubt.

Because I know that you are here for a reason. There is something that you were born with, a gift, a treasure that you alone possess. It’s the gift that the your tribe is waiting for. And you can’t fully share your treasure unless you find the space to nurture yourself.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

How can you commit to taking Divine Care of YOU today?

Have you found yourself saying NO to yourself and ordering the cheaper item?

Leave a comment below.

 

If you’d like to schedule a Self-Care Strategies Discovery Session go HERE to apply.

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  • Michele Santo December 4, 2013, 8:28 pm

    Elena* Your words are divinely timed! Today I asked the Uni, “So, if I apply to this Mastermind my heart feels ecstatic on, but my mind says I cannot afford, will you bring me the money I need to pay for it?” I took a nap, ate an orange, forgot about it. The line you wrote, “you can’t fully share your treasure unless you find the space to nurture yourself.” Well, that’s a yes. Thank you. Each time I up my self-love game, it rains something marvelous. xo Michele

  • Denise December 4, 2013, 10:48 pm

    For sure, I can relate!

    It’s funny how even though I feel like I totally attend to myself, nurture my needs and desires, and give myself good love, I still find myself feeling like I need approval to spend money on me…a really powerful block that I’m ready to release.

    Thank you for this insight, Elena…always good ideas you share.

    Love & Hugs,

    Denise

  • admin December 5, 2013, 12:01 am

    Michele,

    YAY!!! Celebrating you all the way over here.

    I just love the wisdom and beauty of the Universe. Ask and you shall receive. I love that image of raining something marvelous. I’m so happy I could be a part of the Universal plan for you today.
    xoxo
    Elena

  • admin December 5, 2013, 12:03 am

    Denise,

    Just that awareness will begin that releasing process. This is powerful work…saying yes to yourself and not needing the external permission.

    Last week, as I said YES to hiring my next coach/mentor, I felt that need for permission bubble up. I said, thank you for your concern, but I got this one! And I said YES!

    I love this work, it’s all about tapping into your divine wisdom, which Denise, I can feel all the way over here.
    xoxo
    Elena

  • Anna December 5, 2013, 6:39 am

    I love this post! Such a relatable way to describe what many of us do “on the daily”. The worst part is that when we keep buying 2nd best…we NEVER get what we really want, so we aren’t satiated and so we keep buying other 2nd bests…

    I turned 30 last year and something started to click with me. I started to say “f-you” to 2nd best more often (not all the time…but more often). I’d like to tell you I’m free of this little habit, but I haven’t totally kicked it yet. 🙂

    Thanks for the reminder magic lady!

  • Jenny December 5, 2013, 1:21 pm

    Woah Elena! I love this — I’m so inspired and giddy that we are on the same page in regards to self-care. It’s truly heartening to see someone who has the same mission and spreading as much love as you’re able. Thank you. <3

  • Sandy Chasteen December 5, 2013, 2:26 pm

    Right on, girlfriend.

  • Tara December 5, 2013, 2:56 pm

    This was a great confirmation to read. I was just thinking about how I don’t hesitate to throw down $100 for a pair of basketball shoes for one if my boys, but when it comes to me, it has to be a special occasion to spend more than a few bucks on myself. Rediculous! I end up with a happy, nurtured, well-cared for family who has a crunchy, grumpy resentful mom.
    My mindset has been ‘if I buy this, there won’t be enough for everyone else’. Baloney!
    Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone in this thinking & that it just takes some awareness & willingness to change it!

  • Cara December 5, 2013, 4:00 pm

    Such a powerful post Elena!!!

    I had never made the connection between what I order being the cheapest choice.. And now that my self-care has radically improved I no longer do that. So fascinating. I’ll never look at ordering from a menu the same again. Thank you! <3

  • admin December 5, 2013, 5:56 pm

    Anna,

    Saying F-you to 2nd best!! I love it. Yes, we really do all deserve to see ourselves in the way that we were created….divine, brilliant and worthy of our desires.

    xoxo
    Elena

  • admin December 5, 2013, 5:57 pm

    Jenny,

    This really is a mission.

    I can just see a world full of Brilliant women on a mission to change their corner of the world through their passions and living the life of their highest purpose and dreams. All in sweet beautiful luxury.

    xo
    EL

  • admin December 5, 2013, 5:57 pm

    Sandy,

    Let’s go get some 1st class luxuriousness – because we’re so worth it.

    xo
    Elena

  • admin December 5, 2013, 5:59 pm

    Tara,

    YES! That is total baloney. Our children will benefit greatly from seeing us treat ourselves well. They will learn how much value they have by how much we place on our own life, our desires and our choices.

    Rock on!!!

    Let me know how this unfolds for you.
    oxo
    Elena

  • admin December 5, 2013, 6:00 pm

    Cara,

    YES! When I open the menu now, I intentionally first look for what I WANT! I listen to my deepest healthy craving and I follow that. We teach the Universe by our choices. And it’s more than happy to give us exactly what we are asking for.

    Let’s go get some of that beautiful Indian food again soon, and order EXACTLY what we want.

    xoxo
    Elena

  • Sonya Maachou January 10, 2014, 8:13 pm

    A really lovely read. I’m the exact opposite and order what I’d like as I believe in getting what I actually want every now and again.
    Nice to see it from a different perspective.
    Sonya x

  • Heather January 11, 2014, 1:54 am

    Yep, I was guilty of doing that. Once I started investing in myself it was such a difference. Thank you so much for sharing such and empowering message!

  • leoni purdy January 12, 2014, 11:18 am

    I really enjoyed reading your blog. As a mummy, I feel I often say no to me in favour of saying yes to them, even if I can have both! I think it’s something to do with feeling selfish because as a mummy and wife, I put them first and feel guilty if I spend that bit extra on something when I could save the bit extra to go towards something for the little ones.
    I must learn to love myself a bit more and treat myself. 🙂

  • Lisa January 13, 2014, 1:05 am

    I read this post earlier today and have been thinking about it on & off all day. I don’t spend much money on myself, and really don’t spend time doing nice things for myself either. Always so busy rushing around with other people’s priorities. This was a nice reminder to treat myself every now & again. The menu analogy was brilliant!

  • sharraine banks January 13, 2014, 8:30 am

    Great share!

    I too am a fan of cheap! Frugal Francine I call myself and I can definitely see how it can spill over into some aspects of my life. There is an internal and subconscious settling of sorts that goes unnoticed until…you read a post like this!! Thanks for the self care reminder! I AM WORTH IT! 😉

    peace n blessings

    Sharraine

  • ruby January 15, 2014, 1:19 am

    Oh my goodness! To the point of having an upset stomach over it and when I do order, sending it back out of guilt. Thank you for this post!

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:41 pm

    Sonya, I LOVE that you are so self-aware. My sister is this way and has taught me SO much about enjoying yourself and feeling worthy. I’m guilty of buying something nice and letting it sit ing my closet waiting for the perfect occasion. No more!!! I am SO worth it.

    xo
    Elena

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:42 pm

    Heather, doesn’t it literally change your self-perception? I love it!

    xo
    Elena

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:42 pm

    Leoni, especially as a mama, we teach our children that they are worthy by how we treat ourselves. They see us much more than they HEAR us ;))

    xo
    Elena

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:43 pm

    Thanks so much for your comment Lisa. What’s something nice you can do for YOU today?
    xo
    Elena

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:43 pm

    How about Fabulous Francine ???

    You are totally worth it!

    x

    Elena

  • admin March 14, 2014, 11:44 pm

    Ruby, I hear you. We have to learn to LOVE ourselves and feel worthy of the beautiful, the delicious and the expensive!

    xo
    Elena

My gift to you… 3 Step Magic Morning Practice